Friday, June 16, 2006

The Wincy Code

Robert LongDan sat brooding over the naked body that lay spread eagled on the floor. His brows furrowed as he fixed his gaze on the nether regions of the body. His eyes glazed and he looked up at the glittering sky through the glass ceiling of the Loo'vre.

A poke in his ribs snapped him out of his reverie. He stood up at looked around at the painted urinals of Loo'vre. Considered by many as being a work of art unto themselves, the Loo'vre complex was highly protected with a multi layered security arrangement, the last line of defence being "The O". Nobody knew where it was and what it was supposed to do but people feared it nonetheless and the theives avoided the complex at night.

LongDan looked at the body again. The man lay in what was known in ancient texts as the "Vesuvian" posture. It fascinated him.

Captain Bedu Farce poked him again in the ribs. LongDan turned to face him. Without a word Farce shone a pointed beam of light at an area near the head of the man lying on the floor. The words lit up in an eerie purple glow : "So dark the bone of Man". Farce looked at him enquiringly.

LongDan kept mum, his mind was still working overtime on the implications of the insignia on Bedu's coat lapel. Could this be true ? The insignia was that of a shiva-linga turned upside down.

LongDan was confused. He tried hard to recollect the organisation to which it belonged to. Was it the "Machchi Dei !" or "The Priorities of the Loin" ?. He started uttering loudly, much to the surprise of Farce, "Eeny, Meeny, Mynae, Mo..." who gave him a throughly disgusted look.

Footsteps in the darkness behind them caused both men to turn around. A stong smell of Lifebuoy soap wafted in the air and caused both of them to nearly throw up. A female form appeared out of the darkness behind them and went straight to LongDan. LongDan reached for his kerchief.

She stretched her right hand towards him, "Mr. LongDan i presume ?" LongDan shook his head but did not extend his hand to meet hers. He pressed his kercief over his nose more fiercely than ever with both hands.

She continued "I am Soapy NoView, chief wahdahdahdah with the Bureau, they have a message for you on this number..." producing a chit. LongDan glanced at the number she'd scribbled on the chit. It was a number he knew too well but definitely not that of the bureau. It was a number with a $5.36 charge per minute which he put to good use on long lonely nights.

He looked up at her enquiringly. She realised her mistake and held out another chit. LongDan memorised the number, to occupied with both hands to actually reach for it and receeded to a
dark corner of the Loo'vre, well out of reach of both of them.


Soapy turned towards Farce, who winced, and said " Mr. Farce, show me what you've got here ?" With a mild nod Farce led her out towards the control room, careful to maintain his distance from her.

Soapy glanced around, in vain, to locate LongDan. Sighing, she followed Farce.

.......................

The Man lying naked on the ground rubbed his eyes. Slowly, as if in a trance he got up and tried to figure out where he was. He tried to recollect the incidents of the previous night. Slowly, like an action replay everything came back to him. He, driving into this notorious pub late at night, too much wine, the black dude he picked up on his way back, checking in to his private quarters at the basement of the Loo'vre, then nothing. He hazily recalled stepping out of his room late at night to answer nature call, being too drunk to make it to the loo and scribbling something profound on the floor beside him before passing out.

Jerk SoNear, chief curator of the Loo'vre looked around him and searched for something to cover himself up. Not finding any, he slowly started walking towards his quarters. Oh ! what a night it had been...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

A Quiz

1.Legend has it that when mourners gathered to watch X's cremation, a sudden blast of heat from the open incinerator doors blew her body bolt upright. Her hair was on fire from the flames, and blazed around her head like a halo. X's lips appeared to break into a seductive grin just as the doors closed shut. Thus, she gave her audience one last shock.
Identify X. (Hint: Subject of a pretty famous movie)

2.Which book, according to the Guinness Book of World Records has the distinction of being the bestselling novel rejected by the greatest number of potential publishers? (121 to be precise)

3.12 years ago Humberto Munoz Castro was sentenced to 43 years in jail for a famous (or rather infamous) shooting. However he took advantage of a 2001 law that allows for detainees to get huge discounts on their sentences if they behave well, work a lot, and gain university degrees during their time in jail. Who did he shoot?

4.An easy one here.
"Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that - everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been."
Whose letter?